Portland, Oregon, In Hindsight

The Good Stuff:

• Living, breathing neighborhoods
• Quick access to beautiful natural areas
• Best city parks I've ever seen
• The Oregon coast is unmatched
• Public transit is excellent
• Educated population
• It's easy to make friends - everyone is from somewhere else
• Amazing variety of high quality food
• Amazing variety of high quality beer

The Not-So-Good Stuff That Really Counts:

• Job market is shot and bleeding profusely
• Housing availability and price
• Cost of gasoline and everything else
• Dating is difficult at best
• Endless rain

Other Things of  Note:



The Weirdness?

Hipsters and the Keep Portland Weird mantra come to mind. I never quite understood this. If you perceive yourself as weird and go to a place where there are masses of people who you perceive to be like you, then you become normal upon arrival at that place. You were wearing the uniform before you joined, and you're no longer weird. I bring this up because it's clear that many of Portland's hipster "weirdos" never wanted to be able to blend in. I think they want to be weird amongst the weird. It's good to have goals.

Some of what I witnessed in Portland was a weirdness competition that I am certain was rooted in the sudden drop in attention after being surrounded by other, more weird people. How much can you stretch out your earlobes? How long are the braids in your beard? How many tattoos can you fit on your face? What hard drug do you use until you wake up in a strange place? What costume will you wear today as you walk downtown? Will you wear anything at all? Where were you when you scared the shit out of children with your appearance? How much coffeeeeeee did you drink today and was it organic, fair trade, cruelty free, and hugged daily before they stuck it and all its feelings in a grinder? Did you accept someone unconditionally despite the fact that they're obviously a douche? Weirdo.


The Weather?

When I was younger, I was a firefighter. I remember using the fixed deck-gun on top of a pumper truck to soak down a building that had collapsed into itself after being destroyed by a gas-fed fire. I wasn't the only guy on a deck-gun. There were other firefighters on other deck-guns nearby and also on the other side of the building. Thousands and thousands of gallons of water poured into that building until the wetness was wet. Portland is like the inside of that building, all day and all night, for 9-10 months of the year. The other 2-3 months are pretty great, for 5 days of the week. Yep. Awesome. Portland's weather reminds me of this Irish joke about rain: "It only rained twice this week- once for three days and once for four days."  Except it's not funny when you live in it, under it, and on it.


The Homeless Population?

Except to say that it is wholly sad, the homeless situation in Portland is beyond description.



Ultimately, I recommend a visit to Portland at the least. It will be an experience.

Moving To Portland, Oregon, Without A Job

Moving to Portland, Oregon, without a job is a really, really, really bad idea. But, you might get lucky. 

So many people are moving to Portland without jobs that I think a few strangers will find this, so I've written this post with those strangers in mind.

Things you should know:

I just showed up in Portland one day. Did I try to find a job here before I came? Yes, but as soon as employers found out I was living in MN, I was dropped. That wasn't enough to deter me, so I drove out.  After the magical adventure of finding a place to live, the job hunt began. It was instantly frustrating. One honest conversation I had with a local human resources person was revealing: She told me there is such a surplus of people looking for work in Portland that someone who does not live in the immediate area will not be considered unless they have a great deal of experience in a niche field. Here's the thing: I have a great deal of experience in a niche medical profession. And the degree and a high GPA and the letters of recommendation from everyone I've ever worked for and all that stuff, so I thought I would take the chance and come out. None of my qualifications matter here.

I have been able to find part-time work, but that story is coming later.

Other things you should know:

I didn't bother with a traditional move. I packed what I believe to be the necessities of my life into a Civic and simply drove to Portland. I didn't bring big items because I would not make the assumption that things would work out in Portland, and I'm glad I didn't. The employment situation in the Pacific Northwest was, and still is, dire. So is the vacancy rate for apartments. Perhaps you know all that. I knew that before I drove out, but I wanted to live in the PNW for years, the timing was perfect for me on a personal level, and Portland was my best bet for carving out a life in this part of the country. And I believe in taking chances because it's fun and you learn. Does some of that sound familiar?

Did I really try to find a job or am I one of those twits that moved to Portland in order to retire?

I approached finding a job as though it were my job. I was disappointed to find that three months after moving to Portland, I could not even get an interview. Did I try online options? Yes. Even Craigslist? Yes. Did you try the "gigs" section of Craigslist (which is stalked all day by people here) just to get by? Yes. Temp agencies? Yes, and I got one call from one agency. I tried to call them back for days and they wouldn't answer the phone or return my messages. Walk in a store with a resume? Yes. Get so frustrated you might have smudged your resume? Yes. Were you looking for a career-track type gig or just anything? Both. I applied for public positions with local government and for jobs carrying bricks and running shovels. I did this every day and after three months, the chances of finding a job seemed akin to finding a unicorn on Mars that can play the oboe while translating The Iliad into Ojibway. Then my air mattress popped.

For the love of sleep and money and their symbiosis:

My air mattress was quite comfortable until the morning I woke up with my ass on the floor and my feet in the air and one arm entirely numb from the contorted position I slowly sank into as the air leaked out of it overnight. You've been there. It's not good. When I woke up in that position my miserly mindset was immediately ditched. I found The Mattress Lot online and it was blocks away.

I went to the store, found a really good full-size mattress and box-spring with a frame for about $200. And they agreed to deliver it later that afternoon. The rest goes like this:



Delivery Guy: "Where are you from?"

Me: "Minnesota."

"So you just drove into town because you wanted to live here?"

"Yes."

"You see that delivery truck?"

"Yes."

"Could you drive that?"

"A panel truck is no problem."

"I own the company and I'm looking for a delivery guy. Do you want a job?"

"Yes."


And then I became the Delivery Guy.  Working at The Mattress Lot was great. I was treated incredibly well by the company's owners, Michael and Mary Ruth Hanna, who know a lot about being unemployed and taking chances. I even had the bonus of enjoying my coworkers, all of whom are fun and hard-working.

Side note: Michael delivers mattresses on a bicycle, which makes him nuts or a raging Portlander.The Jury is still out.

I am grateful for that job- it allowed me to float. But my hours there were part-time and I need full-time, so I'm playing the unemployment odds and heading to the Midwest. Or, wherever I can get full-time hours. Know someone who's hiring anywhere?

At the end of it...

While things occasionally fall right into place, like having a really good part-time job delivered to your door along with a really good bed, that's probably not going to happen for you if you just show up in Portland like I did. Keep in mind that the entire time I worked at The Mattress Lot, I was looking for full-time work in the Pacific Northwest, of any kind, and only received one interview after applying to hundreds of jobs.

Obviously, Portland and the PNW have a number of wonderful things about them. If Portland wasn't a decent place, people wouldn't be driving into town every day. However, if you're like me when it comes to work and prefer traditional employment over part-time work or running your own business, you'd better think twice about moving to Portland without a job. Get a job in Portland before you come out, or be heavily connected with people here who can help you get a job once you arrive. If you don't, you will have a rough go of it.

But then again, you might get lucky.


Check out these other posts about Portland:

Portland in hindsight


Observations of Portland





You're probably going anyway, so don't forget one of these:

Observations of Portland/ Differences.

- A homeless guy busts out a flip phone and starts texting someone. Homeless people are common and surprisingly friendly (for obvious reasons). Sometimes it's as if they chose an extremely different lifestyle.

- People are lean and beautiful here. Health is often first priority in people's lives.

- In a bar people will chat you up all night. In the street no one makes eye contact.

- Hunters are nervous about admitting they like to hunt for fear of being lectured about animal rights.

- People speak openly in public about using heavy drugs such as heroin, cocaine, etc

- People don't ask you what you do for a living. They ask you how you are doing. And they mean it.

- There is a heavy contingent of Californians here, most from Los Angeles and most are really, really fun.

- Everyone drives the speed limit. That is irritating.

- I never see police. When I do, they are in a squad car. Never on foot or horseback.

- Bicycles are everywhere, EVERYWHERE. And they get out of the way.

- You can buy beer at the gas station... on Sunday. Be jealous.

- The only place I see someone in a suit is at the bank.

- I rarely see churches.

- It always smell like a breezy greenhouse because that's what this whole place is.

- Being able to fix things is rare in most circles.

- Most apartment complexes have an exterior entrance for each apartment, like motels, but it's normal.

- Most people are really, really nice. That being said, it is difficult for people to take the step from small talk to making plans to hang out.

- Many people are warning me about the winters here. Benchmark is what? Yeah.

More later.

In the Oregon Woods

The woods are so thick that you can be in a relatively dark area one minute and then direct sunlight the next.

Jurassic Park or Oregon?

Moss on the trees

That water is 3 feet deep

Bits of Portland

There are little pieces of art like this everywhere in Portland. This one is a label someone painted and stuck to a light pole.

Ice rink inside the mall

VW Bus, The Turbo Version

Oregon Convertible

The two most popular modes of transportation

Portland Saturday Market

Puppet Master/ Street performer at Saturday Market

Pinball machines are in every bar, and I made sure to check before making that claim.

Fall in Portland: Red leaves on the ground next to growing grass

Vivid colors everywhere

Weird Portland, Cool Portland.

Cocky bastard.

 So, I'm sitting in the living room and I keep hearing this muffled racket. It's a combo of squawking, arguing and metal being pounded. I go look out the window and I see two guys leaning over the engine of a car, arguing about how to fix it. Both of them are pissed off, yelling at each other and beating on the car. Then I hear that squawking again and I see this flicker of white inside the car. Yes, that flicker of white was the rooster they had in the car. Weird Portland.

This is an example of how commonly cool Portland can be. This is a trash blind that faces a busy sidewalk. It's made from steel stock with discarded bicycle parts welded to it. All kinds of recycling going on right there.

These kinds of aesthetically pleasing creative solutions are relatively common in residential areas.

Getting a place to live in Portland is... interesting.

When you just drive into town and need a place to live, you are often at the mercy of Craigslist. Here are some good ads:

#1

--House dinner once a week, communal food staples, People's Co-Op membership.
--Friends come over for events such as arts n crafts, singing and guitar playing, cooking and baking (!!!), etc.
--Roommate 1 owns a coffee plant named Moises.
--Roommate 2 is in a ukulele band.
--Space for projects and hugs.
--No cats.

 

 #2

$400 Felony friendly , coed, not on bus line. Utilities included.

#3

Where I live. I found a great room and my housemate is excellent. So are the dogs. I'll be here until my apartment is ready, which should be very soon. All is well. Time to explore Portland some more.

Oregon- East of Portland